IT S with a mixture of trepidation and dread that I prepare to watch Dance Flick, from the makers of White Chicks, Little Man and a whole host of pretty terrible movies that end in … Movie . Okay, at the time and way before the million sequels, Scary Mo


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IT'S with a mixture of trepidation and dread that I prepare to watch Dance Flick, from the makers of White Chicks, Little Man and a whole host of pretty terrible movies that end in '... Movie'.

Okay, at the time and way before the million sequels, Scary Movie was quite a great breakdown of the genre and actually provided a good collection of laughs. It was the quintessential parody for quite a while. There's no disrespect to anyone who lists that in their favourite comedies of this generation, though obviously worry a little if it's their favourite 'ever' in the genre.

The sequel came along and was a little dire, then number three, number four... all getting gradually worse, and as Epic Movie and Disaster Movie graced the box office in a disgraceful fashion it became the epitome of bad taste and bad humour. Even after this was have Sci-Fi Movie on the horizon...

Well this one, ol' Dance Flick here, is directed by the previous star of Scary Movie - Damien Dante Wayans, a directorial debut of sorts (he helped write some of the previous instalments in this series).

The cast is without anyone note-worthy at all. One of them has appeared as a patient in House MD, another was the voice of Cinderella in Shrek The Third and one of the main players is the sister of the director (and has no experience elsewhere).

This is going to be fun. I'm going to weep inside as I hand over the money to watch this. Wish me luck.

Thoughts Afterwards

Almost like a spooky epiphany, my prediction that this would be another embarrassing film in this constantly terrible series was correct.

To reveal spoilers in the plot would be redundant, and pointless, as the senseless story takes a backseat for so called 'jokes'.

It mainly follows Megan (Shoshana Bush, the least embarrassing actress in the movie) as she moves from her small town to the big city, after her mother dies on the way to see her at a dance audition. Think Save The Last Dance but with various other movie references). This fine thread of a plotline is mainly an excuse for a girl to witness 'funny' things in a new school and to meet new people. And, of course, constantly take the mickey out of her mother's death (a scene that played out in gloriously bad taste).

Did I laugh at all?

There were very occasional moments I smiled at the absurdity of situations - such as someone ordering a drink for their baby at a bar by saying "I'll have a milk on the rocks, no ice." - but for every joke that worked, which was about three in the whole movie, there was 20 that didn't. The movie references were forgettable at best and the jokes that required special effects, from three seconds of a dancing baby to ridiculous dance moves, just felt like jokes that 'try too hard' and I didn't once break into a smile.

Though props for a rather funny dig at Twilight right at the end. Though that was the only real stand-out spoof moment and is probably worth just checking out on Youtube instead.

The biggest tragedy in all of this is the downfall actor and writer Marlon Wayans. Early in his career he co-starred in arguably the most powerful movie this decade Requiem For A Dream, but literally his next movie was Scary Movie and it has not

recovered since. It's a real shame because he was a class act in Darren Aronofsky's masterpiece...

If ever we're allowed a chance to vote on film-makers to stop making movies then I press you all to tick the Wayans Brothers box. With a stony-face and actual concern that a studio would fund this tripe it's down to us, the cinema goer, to just stop going buying into the trailers and giving these people another chance. They have shown time and time again that they are incapable of being funny and surely don't deserve another chance.

TIM LINCE

1/5 Stars