Alvin failed to produce a miracle and left the Great British Bake Off

Alvin left the Great British Bake Off

Alvin left the Great British Bake Off - Credit: Archant

Who would have thought that pastry could be so controversial? Poor old Alvin, it just wasn’t his week.

After struggling in the first two rounds, the judges said he needed a “miracle” to survive, unfortunately his vol au vents were more disastrous than miraculously and the magnificent seven were reduced to six.

The Signature Bake, a frangipan tart, finally gave us our first soggy bottoms, and innuendoes galore, when Sue and Mel discovered there were plums! There was a spilt in the camp over whether or not the pastry case should be blind baked, and I surely can’t have been the only viewer to have enjoyed the moment when Paul Hollywood wiped the smug grin from Ian’s face, telling him he should have used baking beans and baked twice. The technical challenge was a flaouna, which Paul described as the toughest challenge yet. Tough, no, ridiculous. Minimal instructions for some unheard of pastry thing with cheese and poppy seeds, surely success was more luck than skill.

And don’t get me started on vol au vents. A bit tricky yes, but hardly a Showstopper challenge in terms of scope and aesthetics. Mat’s were “amazing”, Paul’s were “anaemic and hideous” , Tamal’s were “messy, but delicious” Ian’s were neat, “but not Ian”, Nadiya, who messed up her pastry, provided “stunning fillings”, Flora’s were “brave” and Alvin’s left the judges lost for words, or positive ones, anyway. Mat was deservedly crowned Star Baker and Nadiya, who failed to make a vol au vent case, was left wondering how on earth she survived to face another week.