ANYTHING you can do, I can do better. St Neots put nine past Aylesbury at The Hunts Post Community on Saturday with Stefan Moore scoring a 29-minute hat-trick.
However ... enter Shane Tolley in the 60th minute: he scored his three goals in just 17 minutes.
Chairman Mike Kearns said: “I am looking at my scoreboard over there and it says 9-2! We have just beaten them 9-2.”
It was almost as if he had to repeat the scoreline to believe it. The club’s scoreboard doesn’t go up to 10, so Kearns confessed he was getting quite worried. “I didn’t quite know what I was going to do,” he said.
Moore opened the scoring on seven minutes after great work from his strike partner Ben Mackey. Six minutes later Lewis Hilliard got number two after Moore and Mackey had linked up well again.
The third goal was a cracker: Moore produced a thunderous volley that left the Aylesbury goalkeeper Rhys Marshall helpless and the ball went in off the bar.
At 3-0, Aylesbury rallied and tested Saints’ goalkeeper Michael Duggan a couple of times before Brian Haule was fouled by Chris Hope and they pulled a goal back through Craig Faulconbridge from the spot.
Faulconbridge was denied a second by Duggan before Moore hit his third – his first hat-trick since October 2010 and the club’s first in the Southern League.
Haule made it 4-2 immediately after the break – maybe there was hope for the visitors.
Not so: a 55th-minute Hilliard cross found Jacob, who got St Neots’ fifth with a low shot. Two minutes later it was 6-2 after Moore had been brought down on the edge of the box. Lewis Webb touched the free-kick to Hilliard, who belted the ball home.
Enter Tolley for Mackey ... in the 69th minute the striker put away a Hilliard cross and in the 82nd headed home another cross, this time from fellow sub Aaron Greene. His third was a wonderful 30-yard volley four minutes from time to make it seven St Neots hat-tricks in just 80 appearances.
Chairman Kearns’ worries about his scoreboard not allowing double figures weren’t completely unfounded – Marshall was forced to deny Moore a fourth goal in the final minute with an excellent save.