Eccentric Party calls for the reopening of St Ives’ old police station

Lord Toby Jug wants to reopen St Ives' Victorian police station (Image: Archant)

Lord Toby, leader of the Eccentric Party of Great Britain, plans to be on the bench himself dispensing justice with laws including giving all criminals gallstones until they are good, spoons to be demonised to make them cool to deter knife crime and young people being required to read a book for every 10 selfies they take.

“I am going to relaunch my political career,” the musician from St Ives said.

“I was going to stand for the 2017 general elections and as the mayor of Cambridgeshire, as well as Huntingdonshire District Council. Unfortunately, my mother, the duchess, became very ill with a virus after getting pneumonia and when she recovered she had two falls, hurting her head.”

Lord Toby, a veteran who has stood against top politicians at general elections across the country, said: “Family comes first and she has always been very good to me, making some of my first costumes.

“Thank the lord and the NHS that she is making a good recovery and I can now start again from where I left off.”

Reopening the old police station and court in the town centre - which have been closed for many years and now have different uses - will be a key plank in his manifesto.

“I want to reopen the police station which dates back to 1845 and the court next door because not much seems to go on in the one in Broad Leas.

“I have also seen reports of a 12 per cent increase in crime in St Ives and I think I can do my bit as a justice of the peace and deal out law and order as Judge Jug.”

Lord Toby played guitar for rocker Screaming Lord Sutch, who founded the Official monster Raving Loony Party, and was a leading light in the party after the death of his mentor.

A split with the loonies led to Lord Toby starting his own political party the Eccentric Party of Great Britain.