A wise man once said that we all have a universe of our own terrors to face.

Personally I can think of little more terrifying than the phrase “starring Michael Pennington”.

Live scares are hard to pull off, so understandably stage horrors tend to rely on creating atmospheres of creepiness and unease.

Currently running in the West End is 2:22 A Ghost Story. It’s difficult to say much about this without spoiling it, all I’ll say is that it’s worth seeing, even though the scares are cheap ones.

Any play described as “urgent”, “vibrant” or “relevant” will also lead to night terrors.

Earlier this year, Mark Ravenhill both wrote and appeared in The Haunting of Susan A at the King’s Head, a London pub theatre whose decrepit state complements ghostly tales.

Despite also relying on jump scares, it was a fine show. I talked to Mark after the performance and he’s a terribly nice chap, even if most of his play titles are unprintable in a family publication.

“Based on the hilarious Radio 4 show”- yep, that’s me behind the sofa.

If you want classic horror, then head to Shakespeare for Macbeth (witches and ghosts), Hamlet (one ghost in an awfully long evening), Richard III (a few ghosts but boy is it boring) and the splatter-tastic Titus Andronicus. And to think they teach this stuff in schools.

Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is always worth watching, it’s got ghosts, it’s funny and you feel great at the end. And no, that’s really not a spoiler.

“An evening with Hal Cruttenden”. I’m trembling with fear as I type this.

A few years ago there was a stage version of The Exorcist, which had some eye-popping effects and managed to be far more entertaining than the film (don’t tell Mark Kermode I said that, I have a man-crush on him). And yes, that scene was in it.

The longest-running scary play in the West End is The Woman in Black. This version of Susan Hill’s novel is genuinely thrilling, and just the thing for these dark evenings.

Don’t have nightmares now